On milk and rest and love

It’s a funny thing, maternity leave. I took 6 weeks off when Isaac was born, and so was back at work by the time he was 4 weeks old. I’m incredibly grateful for work so flexible that I can manage my own time, and bring my kids along for the ride. There’s something disarming about a baby. Having Isaac there with me frequently opened up opportunities for conversation that went so much deeper than they otherwise would have. But this time around, I’ve opted for 6 months leave, and to be honest it’s taken some getting my head around.

When your work is your church, your community, it’s hard to figure out what to do just because that’s where I worship and love and connect, and what is ‘work’. I love what I do so much that most of it doesn’t really feel like work anyway. Ok, risk assessments, I don't love doing those.  But I would hate for anyone to think that I only care for people when it’s my job. And I’m a passionate defender of the priesthood of all believers. That there aren’t special jobs that only the officer can do (I think it’s only weddings). I’ve had fun working out what are the spaces I need to create in my life as I adjust to birthing, feeding and nurturing a new baby as well as managing life with a wonderfully energetic two year old. In the interests of journeyingintorest and all that God has been speaking to us about Sabbath and creating margin in our lives, I really wanted to not miss this opportunity to carve out a different kind of life than I usually live.

We’re working through a sermon series on 1 Peter at the moment, so when this week took us to these verses, it made sense for me, the resident milk expert, to preach it, in my just-because-I-worship-here-too capacity.

1 Peter 2:1-3

‘Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.’

Breastfeeding is one of the things I’m proudest of in my life because with Isaac we had such a struggle to get going. Asher and I have settled into the flow of it much more quickly, and it’s one of my favourite parts of parenting. In my struggles to make it work effectively I’ve read some amazing things about how breastfeeding works, and I’m in awe of this magical ability our bodies can have! And also completely respectful of anyone who feels it isn’t for them, or who struggled with it and moved on, it is no always simple! So I love that Peter uses this as an analogy.

After the turmoil caused by the EU referendum last week, how much does our world need to hear these words, ‘rid yourselves of malice, deceit, hypocrisy, envy and slander’! The ways people are treating each other, the lies that have been told, the shameless racism are just devastating. It’s so emotive, so highly charged. I reckon Peter knew human nature pretty well, he knew we’d need to hear it again and again. And he knew it would be pretty hard to do, and so he follows up with a strategy.

Love, love, love. This is the creed of the Kingdom of Heaven. Grace and truth. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, self control. Against these things there is no law. (Galatians 5) Anyone want to vote remain for this kingdom? Sounds idyllic, doesn’t it? But how do we even do that?

Some of my mum friends (mum friends are the best friends!) encourage each other with the mantra ‘only love today’. When you’ve had a day of endlessly clearing up toddler poos off every surface, or all the baby wants to do is eat or cry and refuses to sleep, or the toddler is being a banana today and won’t move unless she’s unpeeled (I loved that one), it’s a helpful reminder – only love today.

And yet, I often find myself at the end of my resources. I simply have no love left to give. Nothing like that heady mix of parenting and politics to push you to your love-limit.

So Peter carries on, ‘like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.’

What is that milk? It’s time in the presence of God. Milk is a whole food, it’s completely pure, contains everything a baby needs, and has very little waste. Someone once tried to tell me that breastfed babies only need to poo once a week because there’s so little waste in it. I guess they forgot to tell Asher. Everything we need, no waste, is right there in the presence of God. Everything to refresh, revive, reenergise.

When Asher wakes up, all he wants, all that will satisfy him is milk, right now. And he lets us know about it if he doesn’t get it. Milk is what he lives for. Remember the old adage, ‘you are what you eat’? It’s as true spiritually as it is physically. It’s so easy to fill your mind with junk food, from the mildly inoffensive to the downright dangerous: magazines, adverts, facebook, trashy TV, tabloid press, horror films, pornography. We are constantly barraged by information, people selling to us, marketers trying to buy our souls, sell us things we didn’t know we need. We’re a society that is afraid to be bored, or still, or quiet. And it shows, as we spiral into mental illness, isolation and lack of creativity.

But God’s still small voice calls us apart to what is pure, to what is holy. Away from the empty calories of crisps, burgers, coke and biscuits. Back to milk. The world laughs. But the One who made us knows what we need. He knows we need still. He knows we need space for our souls to breathe. He knows that he has something that the world can’t give us.

Asher loves meeting new people, he is full of heart melting smiles for them. He is so interested in the world around him, watching, learning, taking it all in. But when he wants milk, he comes back to me, his body relaxes in, and I can feel and watch his soul settle. I watch the play back of his day through his eyes as he processes what he’s learnt. I feel him calm down from any overstimulation. He fills with peace and rest and drifts off to sleep. Milk isn’t just about nutrition, it’s about restoring relationship, about home. It’s about feeling safe and peaceful.

God offers that to each of us. And yet we’re so resistant aren’t we? Sometimes Asher is crying, frustrated, tired and sweaty, and I know he just needs to feed. Milk will fix this! Yet his back is arched away from me, hands blocking his mouth, pulling away from the solution he needs. I get frustrated too – ‘if only you would let me feed you it would all be ok!’ I recognise myself there. The times I’m tired, stressed, overwhelmed, I’m quick to get to the junk food, physical and spiritual, before I come to Jesus, before I allow his words to speak calm to my soul and nourish me with peace and restoration.

So, after reading this passage and mulling it over, I’ve set myself a challenge. I have my own little timer to remind me to stop and drink deep of spiritual milk. This week, every time I stop to feed Asher, I’m trying to take the time to drink in God’s presence too, taking time to read the Bible (yes, on my phone, it’s easier to do one handed), and to actually listen to what God has to say. It’s so easy to let those moments of quiet downtime waste away trawling through facebook or whatever. It’s not all wasted time, I connect with friends, read articles, learn useful/useless things, try to broaden my horizons, catch up on the news. Not all bad by any means. But what a difference it will make if every time I feed Asher I also feed my soul with what is nourishing and wholesome.

The Message paraphrases it ‘drink deep of God’s pure kindness.’ Beautiful.

When we are saturated in the word of God, when his love and grace are being downloaded into our souls that constantly, that deeply, it can’t help but influence how we treat each other, our capacity to rid ourselves of all malice, deceit, hypocrisy, envy and slander if every kind.

Only love today.